Tag Archives: worry

Stupid Anesthesia::Why am I so Afraid?


Tomorrow is the big day for me. After many years of pain, all four of my wisdom teeth will be surgically removed!

Of course, being a girl who worries about everything, this whole ordeal won’t be easy.

Also, I am like a Rubik’s Cube when it comes to figuring out why anything bothers me. With that said, here is a small list of why I find this whole ordeal frightening.

…Ok, maybe not the whole ordeal. My biggest fear lies with going under…AAAHH!!!

Childhood Trauma

When I was in first grade, I broke my arm falling off a swing. I know, I’m awesome right? I had completely split the bone at my wrist. I remember sitting around the Emergency Room, not really paying attention to my arm. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, or they might have been distracting me for all I know.

Anyways, they finally wheeled me away from my family. Next thing I know, they stick a mask on my face and tell me to breathe. I tried to ask what it was, but I only remember them telling me to breathe. I started to panic, and they just held the mask on my face tighter until I fell asleep.

I still get the heebie jeebies when I remember that.

Vomit Phobia

You are required to fast before going under this crap, mainly because it can make you sick. It makes me want to fast all day today!!!

The Confusion

I am so scared to wake up and not understand where I am and what just happened. James told me over and over that he was completely aware of where he was, but he was ‘up in the clouds’. This creeps me out.

Will I Stop Breathing?

I keep imagining how it will all play out. I will go into the room, they’ll have me lay down, they hook me up to the monitors, they put the tube around my nose, I simply relax and keep breathing, eventually I start to drift away…

This is where I panic and stop the visualization. I have NO idea why, but I imagine it’s because I’m afraid of my breath stopping.

 

I think that’s about it for my fears about this whole stupid thing. I can’t wait until it’s all over with!!

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I Should Get My Life Together::Still Shaking Anxiety


Anxiety seems to be the theme of my posts as of late. It seems so silly, since a freshly engaged woman should be floating up with the clouds. And I am! It just seems like there are events in my life trying to ruin my good mood.

Right now, the wedding is weighing heavy on my mind. I also feel super squeamish and nervous about my pending wisdom tooth surgery which is 1 week from today! And this whole thing with North Korea is about ready to send me running for the hills.

I am now desperately trying to combat this constant urge to fight or flight. I’m keeping in mind all the breathing techniques I’ve learned in yoga, but it’s hard to keep a focus on my breath when the phone keeps ringing.

Right now, I feel like I’ve been sitting under a hot sun. I feel dehydrated, a little sweaty, and a touch cloudy in the mind. My eyes are heavy and my limbs feel weak. My emotions are all over the place. I’ll be able to perk myself up and probably find a simple joke way too funny. Or I’ll sink back into a little rut of depression after reading Google news.

Time to take a few deep breaths… come on, you try!

Breath in *deep breath counting to 1…2…3…*

Breath out *release counting to 1…2…3…*

*REPEAT UNTIL CALMER*

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