I’m not sure if it’s just the sad little town I live in or society as a whole, but I have been getting dumped on quite regularly these days. My skills aren’t being recognized, and I’m expected to ‘just deal with it’ when I’m thrown into crappy situations.

It’s seems so much harder to catch a break these days. James and I are working hard to eventually settle down and live happily ever after. It always seems, no matter how hard we work, it’s never going to be hard enough. We are both working almost 14 hour days, only to end up a few bucks ahead.

Before you sit there and write a comment saying ‘that’s life’, I want to know who originally decided that life needed to be full of bullsh*t, rudeness, and hopelessness?

I am so annoyed with all the pessimistic people in the world. They are the ones that tell us not to take risks because the money situation is ‘unstable’ and constantly remind us that the job market sucks. THANKS FOR THE UPDATE, BUT WE ALREADY KNOW THAT!

How is life going to get any better if we continue to accept that it’s going to be sh*tty? Why aren’t we working to make it better? What happened to the universal dream of peace and understanding across generations, races, and religions? I want to pick up where John Lennon left off and make this happen!

I’m done being passive. I’m done being a doormat because it’s easier than making waves. It’s time to slap on the thick black eyeliner, tap into my inner strength, and find the voice I need to speak the confidence needed to get more out of life.

I have been crocheting and occasionally knitting for a little over a decade and I have come across some hilarious and sometimes off-beat crochet patterns. Here is just a sampling of crocheting and knitting I found. Please note I am not mocking or making fun of those who created these patterns. I’m merely fascinated at the amount reativity in the world

1.) Ice Cream Sandwich Tampon Holder

2.) Dungeon Decor Kinks

3.) Willy Warmers

4.) A Signing Hand

5.) Reusable Tampons

6.) Uterus Menstrual Cup Cozy. If you don't know what a menstrual cup is, Google it right now! I didn't know about them until I found this pattern!!

7.) Kitty Weed Cat Toy

8.) Barbie's Toilet

9.) Edible Thong

10.) Fornicating Deer

11.) Reusable Menstrual Pads

12.) Smiley Face Poop

13.) Vomiting Face

14.) Fake Dog Poo

15.) Brain Hat

It’s interesting how many starving artists end up in customer service positions.  I’ve been pondering this concept while waitressing at a local hotel restaurant. For me, it’s probably because I am so desperate for money and there always seems to be customer service positions available.

I saw a special on CNBC called ‘Customer Disservice‘ and it discussed how the customer service industry is suffering. It’s a tough business, so I’m not surprised. I have worked too many years in the customer service industry. It feels more like a sentence than a job. Like, the day I decided to become a writing major, the imaginary Counsel of Artistic Integrity and Demeanor said “Alyssa Leino Hanson, for as long as you wish to pursue a career as a creative writer, you are sentenced to work in the customer service industry. You will serve impatient, hungry customers cold eggs and answer angry phone calls regarding busted guitars.”

I know these problems aren’t unique, and that brings me comfort. Out there in the world, there is a clutter of starving artist working the crap shifts in the name of art. They stay up late trying to finish writing the next chapter, use their free time to complete just one more painting, take time off to make it to an audition on time, and work up the courage to submit their movie and theater script to big directors and theater companies.

I’m probably just going to bounce from one waitress job to the next. Hell, it’s a crap job but I’m good at it! One thing that helps me through the day: my pain-in-the-butt customers who leave me tips are paying for my future dreams! It makes me feel so much better.

I am a simple person. Yes, you are permitted to make your jokes

I was never into deep books. It’s sad, I know, because I’m missing out on the joys of many great American novels. It started in eighth grade with my English class reading To Kill a Mocking Bird. Now this is a favorite among many of my friends and family. However, this book was forever ruined for me. Every word, every sentence, every page was dissected bit by bit by our English teacher. Every object had a purpose and we were going to find out what those were and be graded heavily on it. If we were wrong, our grades suffered.

The other part I absolutely HATED was having to construct an illustration of the town of Maycomb based on details in the book. Now, I’m sure some people would think of this as a fantastic project. It might have been an awesome freshman college writing course project. For this eighth grader who barely kept up with the rest of the class, it was a creative nightmare.

At first, I did alright. About four chapters in I had five or six pages marked explaining town details. I was pretty proud of myself. However, the chick who sat in front of me dug out her novel and revealed 23 bright pink post it notes marking all the town details she was able to find….crap!

Her fancy poster with perfectly traced drawing got her an A. My crappy poster with pieces of mangled construction paper glued to it got a C. Hey, I would have taken my time to make it look nice but I wasted a lot of time trying to find detail. I hashed together a rough idea the night before class.

Like I said, it was a nightmare.

Luckily, this wasn’t enough to turn me off from reading. However, I haven’t touched that book since. One day, I’m sure I will pay it another visit.

When it comes to my own writing, I never pay strict attention to ‘the other meaning’ behind the objects and scenery in my stories. Most of the ones my professors complimented me on were completely accidental. The novel I’m working on right now only has one symbolic object in it: windmills. I wanted to use them as a symbol for change.

I never wanted to write strictly for the smart and the highly knowledgeable. Quite frankly, I never got along with those folks. I simply want to write stories about people and events rather than write ten pages describing a lake to my readers and hope they understand how it symbolizes the fluidity of…AAHH! I can’t even B.S. that!!!

Let’s just say my writing method is similar to how I live my life: I am not interested in things. Things have no real meaning in my life, they simply assist me in living it. What matters the most are my experiences and who I share those experiences with.

One of the highlights was my very first trip to DISNEY WORLD!! The mister surprised me in October with this trip to Florida in DECEMBER! Oh man, that seemed like forever away. And now, it’s a memory. One of the best memories I have! We only had one to day to visit the parks, which clearly was not enough time! We hit the majorly important items like the Flying Dumbo Ride, Spaceship Earth, Cinderella’s Castle, Tower of Terror, and pretty much all the major attractions you saw on TV shows on TGIF.

It’s hard for upcoming events to compete with that in the shadows, but we are sure trying! Each day, though difficult and financially stressful at times, is still a blessing because of who I share it with.

I’m heading home on Christmas Eve! It’ll be my first time back in good Ol’ Grove City since I moved away in September. It’ll be…. I don’t want to rely on the word ‘interesting’ to complete that sentence since it has sarcastic implications. It will be refreshing to come back as someone completely new. I haven’t been able to do that since freshman year of college.I love change!

I don’t want to look too far ahead into 2012 since there’s still some time left for me to finish 2011 with a big bang! Perhaps in another post another day.

I’m putting a lot of my creative energy into my Etsy shop. I enjoy the idea of creating new projects for profit. Of course, this is going to be a slow process.

So far, my favorite project is my ‘Goodnight Little Punk’ signs for nurseries. There are only two up for sale, but my goal is to make each one unique.

In celebration of my day off, I may start working on a few more projects. Or sleep, yet again. It’s rather irritating to work so hard that all I do is sleep during my time off. I don’t want this to be my future. I’m so afraid that if I stick with mediocre jobs just to earn extra money and get ahead that I’ll never get back out.

When I made the decision to focus all my energy into my creative future, I realized the negative repercussions that would follow: cold nights to save on heating bills, less dinners out, etc. It’s so strange.

I never figured that being creative for a living could be so dangerous. You pour all your talents and gifts into endeavors of your choice. And then, you send them into the world where judgement is passed against them, which can make them winners or failures.

The books written, the clothes designed, the cars created, and other projects are the children of the creators. When they reach the market, it’s kind of like high school. They start to get labels, and word travels quickly about them. The Snuggie, for example, went into ‘high school’ with very little in his favor. In the end, it was accepted as a dorky piece of merchandise and that’s how it gained it’s popularity.

I’m digressing again… oy vey!

I think I may go and work on my novel today. Taking that seriously could be my ticket into a working world I’d love to visit every day.

T-Shirt Curtains

I loooove it when crafts and recycling come together . Now, I really didn’t put a lot of fancy work into these curtains, but you can take creative liberties. Here are the basics:

1.) Cut off the sleeves.

2.) Cut off the collar.

3.) Cut the seam that goes from collar to sleeve.

4.) Cut the seem that goes from armpit to the bottom (if that seam isn't there, eyeball it or measure it).

5.) Cut strips along the sleeve portion of the shirt (both sides). Do not cut strips around the collar area! Now, I eyeball things when I craft. If you wish, you can measure out the strip lengths. You'll need four strips to tie two knots on each side.

6.) Tie the strips around the curtain rod, just like doing a tie blanket.

7.) Hang in your window of choice.

There you go! Simple and quick. If you want to play around with different ideas, go right ahead.

Happy crafting

Who’d ever think a little crafty hippie would fall in love with a Chicago boy? Well, it did happen! Off to chase their dreams, these two love-sick puppies found each other and couldn’t resist.

Even after an involuntary four-year silence, they have come together in the name of love and freedom!

But freedom isn’t cheap….

Keeping an apartment neat and together is not an easy task. Nor is it easy to pay the bills. When combined, their bills and student loans total at least $100,000. They don’t have much money. Every luxury they have, if any, they busted their asses for.

They get creative to take care of the stress of bills and working long hours. The hippie child likes to surprise the Chicago boy with smiley face balloons at the end of a long day. The Chicago boy loves to shower the hippie child with love and hugs whenever possible.

They are at the beginning of their new life together. They don’t have much money, but their debts will never be greater than their love!

Been working hard since I got up here. Got all my stuff out of my car in a day. Started work the next day. My feet haven’t left the ground yet. It’s going to be hard to catch my breath for a few weeks.

I’m relying on God to reassure me that this hard work will pay off. I’m working with James to create a better future for us. Something different.

It’s been a huge battle between me and my anxiety. On the outside, I have moved out of my parents house, live with an amazing man who has worlds of respect for me, and I’m adapting to a job in an exciting situation. My anxiety is telling me that I should be afraid of failure, that keeping this relationship is going to be soooo hard, and working in an airport may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s time to take down anxiety! Trust me, it’s not easy. I may try to meditate more often. To be honest, I want to jump back into therapy. Perhaps a little cognitive therapy?

Before anyone sends up the halfway house wagon, please know that I am doing just fine. I’m just a little tired. I’m also scared of the future, but this is a side-effect of becoming a bill-paying adult.

The job worked out! On September 20th, I will start my new position in Grand Forks, ND at the new airport terminal as stated in the blog before. The owner even mentioned I’d be able to update their website from time to time as well.

Now, working in the food industry does seem to be the fate of most writers. Actually, to tell the complete truth, I am more excited about working in a cafe and working on my book in my spare time than going to work everyday where I write until my eyes basically bleed. It’s not that I’m having doubts about my degree. Actually, I’m still proud of the degree I earned. Writing is something that will ALWAYS be in demand, whether it’s digital or written word.

I like that. A lot.

The thing that makes me nervous is moving nearly 300 miles away from home again. It is what I want, but the what ifs tend to peck at me like rabid chickens or something. It’s nerves or fear. I haven’t quite figured it out yet.

Although, a long time ago, I had someone tell me that humans tend to confuse excitement for fear. I don’t know if that’s been proven, but it’s something I always keep in mind. You’d be surprised how much that changes a situation if you remember it like a fact.

Anyways, the tail end of this blog will be devoted to gushing about the one person that made this transition so possible!!!!

This man pictured with me!!! Mr. Foster.

Our whole story needs an entire blog post of its own one day, but here’s the basic information: This man was my college freshman boyfriend. We didn’t date for very long, but still meant the world.

Haven’t talked to him in four years, but we ended up getting back in touch. When my life started to fall apart this summer, he was there to pick up the pieces.

He also got me the interview. And he’s given me a place to live.

This man is a big deal! Everyone who sees this guy on the street must tell him that he is a big deal. For real!! SO WONDERFUL!!!

Change is rough, but it makes you strong. And it becomes easier to handle when you have someone just as strong to stand beside you.